I am reading a book called "Heaven is So Real" by Choo Thomas.  Her claims in the book about one-on-one meetings with Christ are pretty incredible, but it's not that I don't believe her. 

None of the things Jesus says in the book seem to go against any scripture.  In fact, they're all, as far as I can tell, in line with scripture.  But still, the book bothers me.  I'm just not sure if it bothers me because there's something wrong with it, or if I'm extremely convicted by it.

Anybody ever heard of it?  Have opinions on it? 

I just saw an article headline that said "Fetch!  City Pays for Dog Poo."  I decided not to read the article, because once, I saw a headline that read, "Monkeys Control Robot Hand With Their Thoughts, Scientists Find," and read it, and the headline was way better than the article. 

Conversely, I once found an article headline that read, "Man Shoots Entertaining Chimp Escaped from Birthday Party," or something like that, and the article actually turned out to be better than the headline, since it continually referenced the birthday party group the monkey belonged to, called Chimparty.  And the guy was drunk.  Sad?  Yes.  Funny?  Yes. 

La Groceria Inglesia

1022. Sometimes I don’t think being a midget would be so bad.  You could smoke old cigarette butts, because they’d be like normal sized cigarettes to you!  And you could use cheerios like hula hoops!  Yeah, a midget’s life for me!

1023. Normal hum-drum science is great, but we should be funding the weird sciences, because only weird science has created a real-life talking woman!  And boy, was she pretty!  They even made a show out of her that spanned two decades.  TWO DECADES!  Plus a movie!   

1024. Christmas is especially hard on the extremely stupid elves.  They work twice as hard and still don't get as much work done.  Santa doesn't know what to do.  He knows genocide is not a good option, but elves live very long lives, so it's hard to “wait them out.”

1025.  Hate is a very strong word, and should only be used by strong people.  I know some guys at the gym who yell it while they benchpress.  It’s weird.  They say it in the showers too.  I don’t shower when they are in there.      

1026. Scientists are always doing tests on rats and monkeys but what they don’t tell you is oh crap.  Oh crap. 

1027. You know what stinks is bursting out of a closet to surprise everyone at a party, and then there's nobody there except one old man who's cleaning up.  And you're like, "Dang, I must have waited a little too long, huh."  And he's like, "Guess so."

1028. To truly grasp the ebb and flow of Nasdaq, you have to be thinking outside the box, being uber-proactive, and keeping the pulse of the pseudo-marketplace.  Use graphs with pie-charts and figures in the black, on the bottom line, striking while the iron is hot, grabbing the bull by the horns, day-trading, trophy wives, posh parties, professional networking, kids who play sports, big house, help me, help me…

1029. “You’re only as good as your last sale.”  That’s what I kept telling them throughout the meeting, even to the point of yelling it through tears.  But now, it didn’t seem to matter.  I had lost their respect, ever since my pants fell down.

1030. This data suggests that we really missed the boat with evolution.  Yes, it appears men did not evolve from apes, but rather, chickens.  Sure you can question the data, but it appears rock solid to me.  It’s based on that guy right there.  That guy walking around acting like a chicken, to impress that girl.  Yes, we’re outside.  Look, Phil, you’re the one who wanted a conference call.  I told you, I’ll start respecting your meetings when you start respecting mine.   

1031.  How about a new movie called Humanoid Tribots Attack?  It could be about a young college science professor who falls in love with one of his students, but he knows it’s against the rules.  But his heart is consumed, so he gives up everything for her.  Although it ends in tragedy, because she’s just a tease and he ends up marrying another woman.  Still, he always compares her to the college girl.  Emotional distancing follows, before the difficult divorce.  Then, all of a sudden, Humanoid Tribots Attack! 

I had a dream last night that I was being held prisoner by this house full of mobsters who lived outside the law.  Any time I got the chance, I would always try to escape, but I couldn't get very far, being somewhat physically crippled and outnumbered.  That's where the dream begins.

I saw an opportunity to escape, so I took off running, hoping to get as far as possible before having to stop and rest, and before they noticed I was gone.  I hid behind a shed a short distance from the house when I realized they had figured out I was gone, and so I just waited there hoping they wouldn't find me.  But they did. 

Some of the mobsters were sort-of friends of mine, so I was glad that one of those "friends" found me first, because he would be less harsh to me.  Although he wasn't in control, so he had to force me back into the house, and he removed my shoes and took them with him once he had me back in the house. 

Again, I noticed that as everybody was figuring out what to do with me, they had left me unattended!  I knew I had to take this opportunity to escape, but I could only find a few left-footed shoes, and I knew that since they were on-high alert, my chances of making it even as far as I did last time were slim. 

But I had to take the chance, so I put on one shoe and took off as fast as I could and ran even past the spot I stopped last time.  I ran until I couldn't run anymore, knowing that they were already aware of my escape and were everywhere looking for me.  I found a spot among some knee high grass and crops to lay down in.  I couldn't run anymore, and this seemed like the best spot I could find to hide temporarily. 

I thought the spot was great.  There was no way they could see me.  They would have to come right up to the spot I was laying to see I was there.  But then I heard, and peeked my head up, and saw that there were bloodhounds sniffing me out.  This was more than I could bear, and I felt completely hopeless.  I couldn't outrun the dogs, and they were about to find me. 

When they did, I just lay still.  The person in charge of the bloodhounds came upon me but I didn't know him.  He grabbed me and carried me off, but he didn't take me back to the house- he took me to my own home, with my family!  He was a police officer who had been searching for me!  When I sat down with my family, I started crying uncontrollably out of a deep, deep gratitute to this officer.  I couldn't stop crying, and even in the dream, I realized that this silent officer was Jesus Christ. 

I actually woke up in the middle of the night weeping.  It was very powerful for me and I thought I would share it.